"If we value the pursuit of knowledge, we must be free to follow wherever that search may lead us. The free mind is not a barking dog, to be tethered on a ten-foot chain."

Adlai E. Stevenson Jr.

A Library in Your Pocket

January 6, 2010

My Survival Plan: Catch an Apocalypse Man

I watched my first ever episode of Apocalypse Man tonight. If you haven't seen it yet the premise of this non-reality, reality show is that in the undefined future (possibly as soon as 2012 according to the intervening commercial) there may be some apocalyptic event that will completely unravel the forces of civilization to such an extent that you will need to scurry around, avoiding contact with other folks who will be intent on stealing whatever you have.

Rudy Reyes, the Apocalypse man,  sets as one of his first objectives, setting up a short wave radio station to communicate with the very folks he seeks to avoid in his daily excursions.  He also goes to the library and gives a refresher course in the dewey decimal system to locate sewer maps. Along the way, he uses a home made grappling hook to scale a draw bridge that was left in an up position,  shimmies down an elevator shaft cable, shows how to hot wire a car, dines on pilfered vienna sausages and gives the recipe for making field expedient fuel out of french fry grease. His advice on most of the herculean feats boils down to, 'you need to commit.'

Two things occurred to me mid way through the program. First, just because its a post apocalyptic world is no reason for Rudy to run around with a dirty face.  Please, Rudy, score some handi wipes on your next scavenger hunt. Second, while I am confident I can fashion a serviceable grappling hook and might even succeed in swinging it out and actually catching an anchor, no way am I shimming up or down anything. To that reality,  I fully commit.

Consequently, in the event I survive an apocalyptic event,  I intend to immediately corner the vienna sausage market, move into the public library and wait for a hungry marine. That is my survival plan.

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